Let-Go of The Past as You Step into The Future.

Reading time ~4 minutes

A couple of weeks ago, we looked at setting up One Game Changing Strategy to Achieve Your Goals in the year 2022.  Last week, we talked about the Finite nature of our Existence, and how with each passing day, we’re all inching closer to our deaths.

That was all forward looking. Today, I want you to look back.

Look back to the past one year.

• Maybe it was a year to celebrate. Perhaps you had a baby? Or you got a new job? Or a promotion? Or started your fitness journey? Journey towards self-development? Or it could be anything that you feel was a significant milestone in your life.

OR

• Perhaps it was a year of suffering. Maybe you lost a loved one? Or got separated / divorced? Had a major disagreement with someone you love? or you lost your job? Or your health to an illness/ accident and went into a depression?  Maybe it was so bad that you now want to forget that the year 2021 ever existed.  

OR most likely,

• It had elements of both.

Our life is a roller coaster ride. On some days, it is beautiful. On other days, not so much. However, one thing I have learnt is that all aspects of this life are temporary. As they say, “This too, shall pass”.  

“Life is a journey. And not a destination. We’re all here on a temporary basis anyway.”

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Today, as you reflect, try to “Let Go” of the things that are holding you back.

Whatever good or bad happened in this year, don’t cling to it. It was all temporary anyway. If it was bad, only you have the power within you to get over it. If it was good, be aware that it will not last forever. So being in euphoria may not be wise.

In fact, you could even go a step further and let go of all the baggage from your past. Most of it only weighs you down. Of course, you should keep the fond memories, or the lessons learnt.  But everything else, you must let go.

Keeping the emotions, the grudges, the hate or the anger will only stiffen you, and hold you back.

Samarth Ramdas Swami has written in Manache shlok (मनाचे श्लोक):

मनी मानवा व्यर्थ चिंता वहाते ।

अकस्मात होणार होऊन जाते ॥

घडे भोगणे सर्वही कर्मयोगे ।

मतीमंद ते खेद मानी वियोगे ॥ १७ ॥

Samartha talks about people who worry a lot (about tragedies from the past, or those that could befall in future). Ultimately, whatever has to happen, will happen based on our past Karma. He says it is foolish to keep worrying and thereby wasting our life.

Similarly, Seneca, the Stoic Philosopher, has said “We suffer more in imagination than in reality.”

By ruminating on the past (which we cannot change), or worrying about the future, we do not get to LIVE in the present. Ironically, it is only the present moment of our lives that is in our control and where we get to live.

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A few ideas to help you to “Let Go of the Past”:

• EMPTY YOUR MIND. We cannot pour anything more if the glass is already full. Similarly, when our mind is totally cluttered and full of thoughts from the past (mental garbage), we cannot make space to learn new ideas and understand new perspectives. If you want your life to feel refreshed, you must let something go. Warren Buffett follows a philosophy of bathtub memory. Occasionally he pulls the drain plug; and lets all the negativity drain out from his life.

• ACCEPTANCE. There are things you can do, and there are things that you simply cannot. For instance, you cannot reverse time. Likewise, you cannot change other people’s beliefs and opinions, nor can you control other people’s lives. Just accepting things as they are is important. It liberates you from worry; and allows you to focus on things that you can control (i.e. Yourself!)

• SEEK FORGIVENESS. A lot of times, we say some things while angry, which we later regret. Unfortunately, a word spoken (just like an arrow that is shot) cannot be taken back. In such cases, it is only wise to seek forgiveness from the person you have wronged. In Jainism, there is a concept of Micchami Dukkadam (मिच्छामि दुक्कडम्) where on the last day of Paryushana people seek forgiveness from others in case they have knowingly or unknowingly hurt others. You don’t need to wait till Paryushana to seek forgiveness. Do it today!

• FORGIVE OTHERS. Some forgiveness is easy. Sometimes, though, it becomes difficult. How can we forgive someone who’s harmed us physically, emotionally or mentally? Such events (e.g. physical and emotional abuse or trauma) gets carved in people’s memories, and these keep triggering later in life as well. Ironically, however, it is only by letting go, that one can truly get free. This is exactly what the survivors of the deadly Holocaust such as Dr Edith Eger and Eddie Jaku have written about. It is not about cutting ties, but about letting go. Dr Eger writes, “As long as you say you can’t forgive someone, you’re spending energy being against rather than being for yourself and the life you deserve. To forgive isn’t to give someone permission to keep hurting you. Its not okay that you were harmed. But it’s already done. No one but you can heal the wound”

• THINK OF YOUR DEATH. I keep coming back to this one idea because it is so powerful. We tend to think we’re immortals, and in that incorrect assumption, we lose track of our priorities in life. Thinking of our own death helps to bring things in perspective.

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CONCLUDING THOUGHTS

No one saves us but ourselves / No one can and no one may.” —Buddha

Ultimately, no one is going to come and help you. You need to pull your act together, and work on yourself. Letting go of the past is one of the first steps to do so. 

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^{Cover Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash}